Forums @ Antelope Valley Thespians

It's on. Pirates or Ninjas? AND WHY?

You didnt vote....whats your opinion? lol

Pirates! they are totally more amazing than ninjas!!! so much more amazing they dont need a video game...

Ninjas.

Stealth, throwing stars, running on water. I'll kill you dead without you ever knowing I was there.

A single ninja will destroy a boatload of pirates, easy.

Ninjas. Though I defer to Anno on the defense... her discourse on the subject is most eloquent and irrefutable. So much so, that I, a lifelong pirate devotee, have converted to the one true faith... ninjas rule.

Ninjas by far.

Pirates are crazed drunks who occaisonally make off with plunder and then promptly lose it/spend it and are once again left to start out again in an endlessly repeating cycle. Whereas Ninjas are the followers of a sacred method of secrecy & stealth. Pirates are less than thieves. Ninjas are more than assassins. Pirates are the lowest of their kind. Ninjas are an assembly of people dating back to the ancient times who bond together to practice both an art and a way of life.

Some would say:
All a pirate cares about are drink, the ocean and his ship. A ninja forgoes his own desires and follows the path to every extent necessary. If you mess with a pirate all his shipmates will come after you but if you mess with a ninja all it takes is his brother and that's it for you. Plus if you adhere to recent pirate lore "The man who falls behind is left behind."

And as QC has said:

Therefore my conclusion is: Pirates were chased to the ends of the earth and nearly exterminated. No one ever dared let it be known he was after a ninja. And no one ever lived to tell the tale of defeating one.

Pirates are feared & hated. Ninjas are feared & revered.

Ha! I have returned. Yes yes, I know you all missed me terribly.

Anyway... PIRATES!!!! And just as a disclaimer, I shall use strong phrasings here because I love this argument , but please know, I mean this all in good fun!

Isn't it obvious? Pirates are the swashbuckling, independent-minded, seafaring adventurers that everyone, even those stuffy ninjas secretly wish they could be. Ah.... freedom! No rules, except of course the only ones that matter: what a man CAN do, and what he CAN'T. Ah, the swell of the sea and the life of a wanderer - true freedom! No devotion to silly uniforms, stuffy rulebooks, some abstract stringent idea of "honor", psssh! A ninja is but a slave, to his shogun, his order, and his own prudishness; a pirate is master of his own fate, and makes slaves of others!

Ninjas cleanse the land of all they see as unclean - upholders of order and homogenity. (sniff sniff) Is that condescension I smell? Or perhaps ethnocentrism? Hmmm... almost like.... like.... dare I say, racial purism? Pirates were chased to the ends of the earth and exterminated, yes; but the ninja mission lives on in every genocide. A pirate may still kill you, but at least he generally doesn't hate you, he just wants your money. Sure, we both are murderers, but at least a pirate is an equal opportunity killer.

A ninja stabs his opponent in the back, which is totally lame - a pirate may charge drunkenly and/or stupidly, but sure makes a better fight scene.

And finally (for now), name ONE ninja (besides those of the turtle variety) that I have ever heard of... OH THATS RIGHT, they are just nameless faceless drones of a master's will. However, I HAVE heard of many a tale of derring-do and high adventure regarding many a pirate, real or fictional: Blackbeard, Sir Francis Drake, Red Rackham, Long John Silver, and of course CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow.

Hahaharrr, have at you!

And I would also like to file a complaint that clearly this board discriminates against pirates, as we see here all those with rank are ninjas! Elitists to the core!!!

I have recently come across something that has greatly softened my stance on pirates or at least ninjirates.

My father's mother, my paternal grandmother, has a very interesting family legacy. They were Chinese pirates, ninja-pirates. I'm descended from Ninja-Pirates! Anyway, I still firmly believe that Ninjas are far superior but I guess pirates aren't all that bad.

http://news.google.com/news?um=1&ned=us&hl=en&q=pirates

If you follow the news, I think it's been made abundantly clear in recent weeks what has been true for centuries... pirates are nothing more than overly-romanticized terrorists. Indiscriminate guerrilla violence, levied intentionally against non-military targets for personal gain... sounds like terrorism to me!

How fitting indeed that the entire board management supports the ninja faction... dominant imperialism smells a touch cleaner than drunken debauchery however, so I will throw my lot in with them. Sorry Sprout.

Besides, the real question is, shall I sail off into the sunset with a dirty pirate who's breath smells like rum and bilgewater, or kiss the clean-shaven, tea-infused lips of a ninja?

I'm afraid I can't choose either, because the only logical choice is the robot. A well programmed robot has the strength and courage (or drunken stupidity) of a pirate, and the precision and grace of a ninja. In addition, robots can have dozens of abilities that cannot be attained by even the best pirates or ninjas. Night vision, heat vision, jet packs, rockets, lasers, sonar, built in guns, and tracking devices are just some examples. A self-maintaining robot can even live forever. Robots are the ultimate beings, who just need their sentience to reach perfection.